Sunday, January 31, 2010

I suck!!

It's like learning to draw all over again.

I was sketching faces late this morning for the first time in years.

After fiddling around with proportions, placement, and expressions for a couple hours, I realized that I still suck at comic book drawing! Ughh!

Faces from my sketchpad!

I remember having that exact feeling several years ago when I'd practice and practice and not see much improvement.

That's why I put the dream on hold. The reality of not achieving my goals was too painful to bear.

After all, if you can't draw you ain't gettin' into comics!

But I'm determined to do it differently this time around.

Yes, I suck and have a looooong ways to go but I've got to push through those feelings of failure and inadequacy and keep drawing regardless.

If I'm being honest, I already crashed from the high I experienced during my very first post. But the main thing is that I keep moving forward whether I'm in a good mood or not!

I gave up too easily in the past and don't want history to repeat itself!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Death to the dream.....dream to the death.

It can stir my soul even when I'm in the grips of depression. It makes me feel alive....excited! A smile spread across my face just typing that. That is how I know it's my calling in life.

I've always LOVED comic books and dreamed of becoming a comic book illustrator since the age of 13.

All of high school was spent drawing and copying comic book characters. The practicing continued throughout college. And the several years immediately following graduation were consumed with studying and learning on my own.

Oh how I wanted it! How I prayed for it! But it wasn't enough.

To be frank, I still sucked even after all those years of training. And the dream of a career in comics grew dim and sad and hopeless. And that killed a lot of the joy and impetus that's so very crucial in making dreams a reality.

The dream was then placed on the back burner as a way of keeping it alive. Being a comic book artist was my number one goal in life! If I failed, it was all over and I'd have nothing. But by saying, "I'll get to it one of these days", it allowed me to conveniently keep the dream a possibility without having to do anything about it.

But enough of that bullshit! The time has come to take ACTION! To dust off the dream of becoming a comic book illustrator and remove it from my hiding place.

To try again with new purpose! New focus! New zeal!

Either I let the dream die once and for all and move on or keep it alive and dream until I die! (Let's hope it's the latter!)

Scene from Wonder Woman #108 (1959)

And "Suffering Sappho!" you ask?

Just one of many colorful expressions the Amazin' Amazon would say back in the day during her numerous adventures.

Here's to jumping into some adventures of my own! And it begins TODAY!